Did you yell and scream or want to hit someone?
Or maybe your boss gave you too much workload Or maybe a friend borrowed kind or money from you and then denying to return it. That made you angry!
Everyone gets angry. Maybe you "lose your cool" or "hit the roof." Anger can even be a good thing. When kids are treated unfairly, anger can help them stand up for themselves. The hard part is learning what to do with these strong feelings.
What Is Anger?
You have lots of emotions. At different times, you may be happy, sad, or jealous. Anger is just another way we feel. It's perfectly OK to be angry at times — in fact, it's important to get angry sometimes.But anger must be released in the right way. Otherwise you'll be like a pot of boiling water with the lid left on. If the steam doesn't escape, the water will finally boil over and blow its top! When that happens to you, it's no fun for anyone.
What Makes You Angry?
Many things may make you angry. You may get angry when something doesn't go your way. Maybe you get mad at yourself when you don't understand your worload or when your team loses an important project. When you have a hard time reaching a goal you might become frustrated. That frustration can lead to anger. For an instance, you might get angry with your parents if you think one of their rules is unfair. Worst of all is when you are blamed for something you didn't do. But it's also possible to get angry and not even know why.
Here are 12 of the most common kinds of anger. See if you recognize any of them :-
• Behavioral Anger – This type of anger usually describes someone who is aggressive towards whatever triggered their anger… this can be another person. This can be someone who always seems to act out, or is troublesome. Sometimes the outcome is physical abuse or attacks against others.
• Passive Anger - People who use sarcasm or mockery as a way to hide their feelings, typically express this form of anger. They tend to avoid confrontations with people or situations.
• Verbal Anger – Anger that’s expressed mostly through words and not actions. Verbal abuse is used to criticize and insult people (put them down) and complain.
• Constructive Anger – This type of anger is a key factor in driving people to want to join movements and groups. It’s the feeling of being fed up with how things are going, and the need to make a positive change.
• Self-inflicted Anger – Anger that translates in causing harm to one’s own body. People who use this type of anger are acting out by punishing themselves for something they’ve done wrong. Some examples include starvation, cutting, and overeating.
• Volatile Anger – This form of anger occurs in varying degrees… it comes and goes. It can just appear out of nowhere, or build into something bigger. It can either explode or go unnoticed. It could even be expressed verbally or physically.
• Chronic Anger – Ever come across someone that’s seemingly angry for no reason, or mad all the time? More than likely, they were exhibiting this type of anger. People with chronic anger are just mad in general.
• Judgmental Anger – Putting other people down and making them feel bad about themselves, or abilities, is a form of judgmental anger. This person expresses their feelings by making those around them feel worthless.
• Overwhelmed Anger – This person relieves stress by shouting, and flying off the handle, when they can’t take situations and things that are happening around them, anymore. When things are just too overwhelming… which is why it’s called ‘overwhelmed anger’.
• Retaliatory Anger – This is probably one of the most common, of the bunch. Retaliatory anger usually occurs as a direct response to someone else lashing out at you… has that happened to you once or twice ?
• Paranoid Anger – This anger comes about when someone feels jealousy towards others, because they feel other people have or want to take what’s rightfully theirs. Or they may act out because they feel intimidated by others.
• Deliberate Anger – Using anger to gain power over a situation or person. A person expressing this form of anger may not start out angry, but will get angry when something does not turn out the way they wanted. Or, someone doesn’t see eye to eye with something they planned.
The next step is knowing what to do when anger rears its ugly head.
How Can I Tell When I'm Angry?
There are different ways people feel anger. Usually your body will tell you when you are angry. Are you breathing faster? Is your face bright red? Are your muscles tense and your fists clenched tight? Do you want to break something or hit someone? Anger can make you yell or scream at those around you, even people you like or love.
Some people keep their anger buried deep inside. If you do this, you might get a headache or your stomach might start to hurt. You may just feel crummy about yourself or start to cry. It's not good to hide your anger, so you should find a way to let it out without hurting yourself or others.
How Can I Tell When Someone Else Is Angry?
When someone you know is angry, he or she may stomp away or stop talking to you, or become quiet and withdrawn. Some people scream and try to hit or harm anyone close by. If a person is this angry, you should get away as soon as possible.
Once you are away from the angry person, stop and think. Try to figure out what made that person so angry. Can you make the situation better? How does the other person feel? When the other person has cooled down, try to talk about the problem. Listen to what he or she has to say.
What Should I Do If I Get Angry?
Don't lose control if you get angry. Taking it out on others never solves anything. Instead, admit to yourself that you are angry and try to figure out why. What can you do to keep the situation from happening again? If your little sister gets a toy and you don't, it's not OK to break that toy. Maybe you can ask her to share it with you. Ask your boss or a parent for help instead.
It helps to talk about your anger with an adult, such as a parent, teacher, or relative. Once you talk about anger, those bad feelings usually start to go away.
Anger Busters
Here are some other things you can do when you start to feel angry:
• talk to a friend you can trust
• count to 10
• get or give a hug
• do jumping jacks or another exercise
• draw a picture of your anger
• play a video game
• run around the outside of the house five times as fast as you can
• sing along with the stereo
• pull weeds in the garden
• think good thoughts (maybe about a fun vacation or your favorite sport)
• take a bike ride, go skateboarding, play basketball — do something active!
Regards,
Shikha Datta | Marketing Co-ordinator
